‘Fast & Furious’ With Vin Diesel, Paul Walker is Loud, Boring, Useless Drivel
Rating: 1.0/5.0CHICAGO– It took eight years to reunite the cast of the original “The Fast and the Furious” - Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, and Michelle Rodriguez. What’s changed in that...
View Article‘Fast Five’ Furiously Finds Fun Factor in Franchise Finest
Rating: 4.0/5.0CHICAGO– Maybe director Justin Lin learned how to have fun directing the now-classic paintball episode of “Community.” Wherever he figured out that his movies need not be so damn...
View ArticleFormula Takes Another Lap in ‘Fast & Furious 6’
Rating: 3.5/5.0CHICAGO– “How did you know the car would be there to break my fall?” Everything you need to know about the current tone of the “Fast & Furious” franchise exists in that line. Not...
View ArticleVin Diesel Returns to Iconic Character in B-Movie ‘Riddick’
Rating: 3.0/5.0CHICAGO– Did anyone else think there would be another film about Richard Riddick, Vin Diesel’s character from the great “Pitch Black” and not-great “The Chronicles of Riddick”? Me...
View Article‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ a Gleeful Space Romp
Rating: 4.0/5.0CHICAGO– “Guardians Of The Galaxy” is a gleeful Star Wars knockoff dressed up in Marvel Comics clothing. It occupies the same universe as Marvel’s other properties, but its tone is...
View ArticleWham Bam Pass the Popcorn, Man For ‘Furious 7’
Rating: 4.0/5.0CHICAGO– The “Fast & Furious” franchise of films has probably one of the strangest evolutions in action history. What began as a rebellious street race movie, has morphed into a sort...
View ArticleRelentlessly Action-Packed ‘Furious 7’ Actually Has a Story, Too
Rating: 4.0/5.0CHICAGO– I’ve never classified myself as a “Fast & Furious” franchise fan. Nor have I been a hater. I’ve fallen somewhere in between – willingly watching the popcorn flicks but then...
View Article‘The Last Witch Hunter’ at Least is Hilariously Awful
Rating: 1.5/5.0CHICAGO– You will see many many better movies this year, but you’re unlikely to see one quite this batshit crazy. I’ll give Vin Diesel this much credit, at least he’s created a memorably...
View Article‘Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk’ Won Some of the Battles But Lost the War
Rating: 2.5/5.0CHICAGO– War is an ugly part of our civilization, but it can be told beautifully. The complexities of battle are often dark and overwhelming, but inside of that there is also a light...
View Article‘xXx: Return of Xander Cage’ is Action as Phantasm
Rating: 3.5/5.0CHICAGO– The true miracle of “xXx: Return of Xander Cage” – besides constantly breaking the law of physics – was making the sonorous line readings of Vin Diesel almost palatable. This...
View ArticleHollywoodChicago.com ESP, En Español: ‘xXx,’ ‘Split,’ ‘Paterson’ y ‘20th...
CHICAGO– Cada semana, HollywoodChicago.com le traerá las criticas de las películas que hemos visto y que están saliendo esa semana, pero en español. HollywoodChicago.com ESP no sólo representa...
View Article‘The Fate of the Furious’ is a Vehicle Running on Fumes
Rating: 2.5/5.0CHICAGO– Bigger, Dumber, and Duller…that’s the name of the game this time in this ongoing franchise which is now so ludicrous it makes Bond films seem like the epitome of realism. While...
View ArticleCut of Nostalgia in ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’
Rating: 4.0/5.0CHICAGO– When I first saw “Guardians of the Galaxy” I was unfamiliar with the comic book source. I enjoyed the film, but worried it might be just a little too nerdy and obscure to...
View ArticleFaster & Furiouser! On-Air Review of ‘F9: The Fast Saga’
Rating: 3.5/5.0CHICAGO– Patrick McDonald of HollywoodChicago.com appears on “The Morning Mess” with Scott Thompson on WBGR-FM (Monroe, Wisconsin) on June 24th, 2021, reviewing the new film “F9,” the...
View ArticlePocket Rocket in ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3’
Rating: 3.5/5.0CHICAGO– The Guardians of the Galaxy have lost some of their freshness over the years. They’re no long the scrappy obscurities who came out of nowhere to deliver one of the more...
View Article‘Fast X’ is a Full Scale Assault on the Laws of Logic
Rating: 2.0/5.0CHICAGO– A lot of blockbusters require you to check your brain at the door. “Fast X” requires a full scale lobotomy. To the uninitiated, Vin Diesel’s blatant disregard for the laws of...
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